Tuesday 6 December 2016

How truthful are you?



 
Definition: To be honest about things and feelings with oneself and others
 
Truthfulness has many characteristics and its complexity unfolds as we mature. Truthfulness is a lifelong guideline to practice. Its attributes are complex and often dependent on circumstances.
"To be truthful means being honest about things and feelings...being honest with ourselves and with others. Being truthful is not always easy because truth is not black and white. Two seemingly contradictory statements could both be the truth depending upon the perspectives of the observers. It takes courage to be truthful because others may disagree.”
Being truthful requires good judgment about WHAT to say, WHEN to say it, to WHOM to say it and HOW to say it.
Being truthful is an important building block for human relationships and therefore has significant consequences on both the short-term and long-term."
If we aren't truthful; people and especially family and friends, will be suspicious when we share experiences, stories or feelings. And if we can't be trusted to tell the truth with even insignificant information, how can anyone believe that we we are saying is true? By telling the truth, friends, family, and colleagues will believe what we say and in addition the human body feels less stressed when we tell the truth.
When being truthful you will experience an increased sense of confidence, less anxiety, worry and guilt. You will have an increased ability to deal with crises and be better equipped to handle problems. You will experience improved interpersonal relationships and greater control of your emotions. You may also experience the ability reason better and to influence other people.
When you’re not truthful, you tend to be more frustrated with yourself and life in general, you may lack self-confidence, have dysfunctional relationships with family, friends and colleagues and possible suffer different kinds of stresses.
A renowned quote states the following “If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything”. Tell the entire truth immediately rather than a little at a time. Credibility and trustworthiness is easy to destroy with a few simple untrue stories that’s told in a moment.
Telling the truth isn't always easy. Often, telling the truth brings unpleasant consequences. However, telling a lie under whatever circumstances almost always has far-reaching consequences and too often of greater severity than if we simply spoke the truth up front and accepted the consequences. - as unpleasant as it might be. Once we're caught lying, people lose faith and confidence in us and this is devastating. Rebuilding trust is a topic for another post.
Remember: Truthfulness is one of the greatest and most important of all human virtues. Speak the truth, even if it hurts.
 

Wednesday 7 September 2016

When you want what you can't have

Most of us have experienced a burning desire, a deep longing for something or perhaps someone, who is just out of reach - that one thing you just can't have.
 
Several factors play a role in this. Maybe it is because the goal is too hard to reach or the person is taken, or may be this person does not reciprocate your feelings. So often despite all the stumbling blocks, we just want that something or someone so much more.
 
The question you then ask yourself is "WHY?".

Why is it that when you can't have something, you are willing to put all our energy and effort in, to go the extra mile just to get that something that is out of reach?
 
What comes to mind is "personal vanity" - As humans we all like to feel special and important. These are amongst the things that boosts our pride, self-image and confidence. Nobody wants to feel powerless or unable to affect people. The fact that you can't have or attain something is a blow to your personal vanity. This results in you chasing that thing more aggressively.
 
The human mind is fuelled with some sort of urge or deep desire when you become aware or told you are incapable of achieving something. We tend to overstep moral code or even hurt others when we are told we can't have something or someone.
 
Wanting what you can’t have, whether it’s a luxury lifestyle or a relationship or dream job, can be a thrilling experience. What you need to ask yourself is "what happens when it's attainable? Will you be satisfied?". May be or may be not, because the thrill will be over and you will move on to the next best thing OR you will cherish it and be pleased that you finally got what you once thought was unattainable. Always keep in mind that all things work out as it is destined to.
 
What is it that you wanted and didn’t get?
The affection of a person?
That dream job?
A promotion?
A luxurious lifestyle?
Better education?
Being able to experiment with alcohol as teenager but restricted by your parents?
 
 

 

Monday 13 June 2016

Protect your peace of mind and happiness

Most of us know or have an idea of what happiness is/means to us. I am going to start with: "What Is Peace of Mind?"


"Peace of mind is a state of mental and emotional calmness, with no worries, fears or stress. In this state, the mind is quiet, and you experience a sense of happiness and freedom."

Peaceful moments are often experienced without us actually realizing it; it can be through watching TV, being in the company of someone special, or walking on the beach. Most times, activities like these take the mind away from its usual thoughts and worries, and it allows you to experience inner peace. However, throughout most of these activities it so often happens that one does not fully experience peace of mind. Now the question is: "how do you get to experience more peace of mind, more importantly, how do you experience it in difficult and challenging times?".
 
 


 
The following are my tips to foster peace of mind that can lead to overall happiness.


Negativity
This is the biggest culprit in disturbing your peace of mind and stealing your happiness.
Stay away from negative conversation. Negative words and thoughts sink in to your subconscious mind and affects your mood and behaviour.

Forgive
Do not hold grudges. As difficult, painful or hurtful as it may be, learn to forgive and forget. Nurturing feelings of unforgiveness hurts you and makes you bitter. Forgiving someone or something will not change what happened, but it will have an impact and change the future.

Jealousy and envy
As hard as it may be, do not be jealous of others. Jealousy means that you have a low self-esteem (not necessarily) and therefore, consider yourself inferior to others. Be accepting, be loving and be happy with who you are.


The past
Don't dwell on the past. The past is not here anymore, so why think about it? 
Let bygones be bygones. Forget the past and focus on the present moment. There is no need to evoke unpleasant memories and get immersed in them. Learn to be more patient and tolerant with family, friends,colleagues and everyone else.

Don't take everything too personally. 
When we take things personally we are giving another individual more power over us than what they deserve, or should ever be allowed to have.
In some cases a certain degree of emotional and mental detachment is helpful. Not everything is about you. 

Refuse to think negative thoughts, reject feelings of worry and anxiety, and by doing this, your inner peace will eventually grow and it may lead to external peace. Focus your mind so that you can more easily reject worries and anxieties. Refuse to think negative thoughts, and reduce the constant clutter of your mind. Inner peace eventually leads to external peace. By creating peace in your inner world you bring it into your external world and into other people's lives.

Make a conscious choice every day to protect your peace of mind and not let anyone or anything interfere with it.