Handling criticism

Have you ever found yourself on the receiving end of words spoken out of frustration, disappointment, envy or anger? That vulnerable moment when someone criticizes you.

 

What is criticism?

Criticism is the expression or disapproval of someone / something on the basis of perceived faults or mistakes.

 

Everyone has an opinion.

Everyone is prepared to tell you what you’re doing wrong.

Everyone wants to tell you how to lead your life.

Everyone is a critic, right?

 

Most of us don’t want to hear criticism. Whether it’s coming from a parent, friend, family member, or colleague. Not everyone is open and accepting to it. Criticism can be hard to take. To accept it, you can almost say it is a skill, and being able to learn from criticism requires a level of proficiency.

 

How do we react to it?

Our typical reaction is to respond in the same manner as what it is received in, and that is; with anger, defensiveness, or sarcasm.

 

Let's think of criticism as an uncomfortable way to learn more about ourselves and our impact on others.  It is feedback that we may find difficult to hear but we need it, if we are to expand our awareness of our impact on others.

 

Handling criticism

Dealing with criticism effectively & in a positive manner is an important life skill. At some point in our lives we will be criticised. Sometimes it will be difficult to accept but it all depends on our reaction.  We can either use criticism in a positive way to improve, or in a negative way that may lower our self-esteem & cause stress and anger.

 

• Listen carefully to what the other person is saying.
• Stay focussed and make sure you understand what is being said..
• Breathe - Count to 10 before responding, sleep over it, take a walk - any kind of delay is good.
• Ask for clarification if the criticism is vague or unclear. Ask for a example to make sure you fully understand what they are referring to.
• Fair or unfair - you need to decide.  Ask yourself, is there truth in what is being said? As difficult as it may be, if it's true - take ownership and ask for suggestions how they want you to handle the situation differently.
• Don't get defensive - stick to the issue at hand and don't get personal.
• Learn from the encounter and move on.

Not everyone you will interact with is going to be nice & friendly. The fact is, this is LIFE and we are climbing the corporate ladder, trying new things and aiming for greater heights and we will be exposed to criticism at one stage or another.

 

To end this post, my take on criticism is "What doesn't kill you, make you stronger." Be open to it, be accepting, learn from it and move on..

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.
Dale Carnegie –