Anothers perspective

 

Consideration and true understanding of another persons perspective can bring great value to those involved. Acknowledge that everyone is unique in thoughts, ways and approach of doing and dealing with things. Every person you meet has a different background and life experience.

In order to get to know a person better or in an attempt to understand their perspective, ask questions, do not assume. Be present and listen attentively to what is being said. Though your perspective is valuable, it is not the only one.

Seek ways to relate with people. Depending on their experience in life, their opinion, ideas & outlook in life might be completely different to yours - try to see things from their point of view and by doing this you might learn something new.

To better understand put yourself in their shoes - IF it was you, think about the "how would I feel, what would I do, what would i have said" in that context.

Listen attentively and keep an open mind throughout, wait until they are done and then give your opinion.

Be objective and evaluate what the person has said and identify if they have enough ground to stand on (information/facts to support their point) Consider their perspective but if you are not comfortable with it and don't agree, challenge them, turn it upside down, flip it around, who knows the exciting ground breaking possibilities you may learn from it.

 

 

 

“Some people grumble that roses have thorns; I am grateful that thorns have roses.”

Traveling

Firstly let’s define “travel”

“Travel is the movement of people between relatively distant geographical locations, and can involve travel by foot, bicycle, automobile, train, boat, airplane, or other means, with or without luggage, and can be one way or round trip.”

Throughout my life I have traveled a lot; local trips, national and international. Each of these travels has brought a unique experience and taught me valuable lessons.  Though travelling alone isn’t for everyone, I still feel that everyone should try it at least once in their lives.

The thought of a solo trip may seem scary and awaken thoughts like “what if I get lost…?”. In my opinion, getting lost is never a bad thing. You discover a new place and you might meet new people. When lost, always be observant. Familiarize yourself with the area and surrounding and never panic. Not everyone around you needs to know that you are lost. Who knows when you might return to this lost location one day or what treasure you may discover whilst there.

Sometimes the thought of travelling alone, and possibility of getting lost can become overwhelming. However, with proper planning and preparation, you just need to get out there and experience it.

One of the greatest benefits of travelling alone is that you learn to become independent. Be selfish and put yourself first, do not wait around for someone else to make it happen, make it happen for yourself.

A solo trip gives you the opportunity to take control and ownership. When you are lost, YOU will be the one to ask directions, YOU get to decide what activities you want to do. If you're bored, YOU will have to browse and find something fun to do. Therefore, solo travelling is one of the best ways to build your independence.

When travelling alone, starting conversation is slightly easier and you get to meet new people. This is often less likely to happen when you already have company. A solo trip allows you to do what you want on your own time and convenience. You are free to do whatever you want to do. Most times when travelling with someone or in a group, travelling can become stressful because everyone has their own expectations and preferences. When travelling alone you are allowed to be selfish and you do not need to apologize to anyone for it.

Unplug from your normal lifestyle and go find yourself. Take the time to discover. Do some soul searching, think about every aspect of your life.

Spending time alone will allow you to reflect on your life, any challenges you might be facing, and plans you have for the future. Being alone is also an amazing way to heal.

Swallow your pride, conquer your fears, take a chance to explore, for yourself and by yourself – do not be afraid to travel on your own.

"Don't be scared to walk alone. Don't be scared to like it"

"Sometimes, you just need a break. in a beautiful place. to figure everything out"

"As you travel solo, being totally responsible for yourself, it's inevitable that you will discover just how capable you are"

Good Bye 20's, Hello 30's!!!

On the eve of my 30th Birthday, I reflect on the journey of the past decade. 

Being on the verge of 30, I am proud to say that:  

"I know myself very well!

I know what I like!

I know what I want!

I know what I will not tolerate! 

I am very comfortable with who I am."

AND I have the confidence to be it every day OR in any situation I find myself. 

The twenties is a journey where one feels to prove yourself. In some cases there is pressure to live up to expectations of others. Moving from your teens to twenties a person is still trying to determine what career path to follow, what your personal style is, establishing relationships with others in the hopes of finding a significant other to spend your life with - to me being in your twenties is/was like an experiment. Each and every experience you go through is vital and ends up being a building block in shaping your life.

As the years passed in my twenties, i became more comfortable, the uncertainty got less and less and confidence grew stronger. I learnt to stop apologising for who i am, stopped worrying about what others think of me or to please them. When you've encountered several hurts and disappointments, you realise what/who is important and what not. Someone once told me that " A woman in her 30s has a level of confidence that females in their 20s have yet to discover. It is  the type of confidence that is attractive to both men and women of all ages."This has stuck with me over the years and I can now already confirm there is truth in that statement. At age 29 I have accepted and learnt how to make the best of my flaws & in some cases found a way to minimise or get rid of them. 

The twenties has been challenging at times, it had its highlights, good times, successes and somewhere in between the opposites of these also occurred BUT never did I allow it to get to me or stop me from being happy and chasing my goals. A big smile appears on my face as I reflect on every thing that has happened and to see how I have progressed through the years. My heart is filled with thankfulness. I am content with my career and the growth in this the past decade and I am still striving and finding ways to improve to get better at it. Since my early teens I have worked hard to earn independence, I have learnt the value of money and importance of saving.

People have come and gone (unfortunately with some I have lost touch & worth other  i am pleased to say they are are gone!) BUT those who I’ve chosen to continue to grow with are truly cherished. I have friends that I know will be life-long & some live thousands of kilometres 

away, but the connection is never in doubt AND when I  know no matter what, when I see them it’s like no time has passed

Not to go into too much detail of the twenties,  a few things that want to highlight:

• BE comfortable with yourself and the decisions you make, 
• DO what makes you happy, 
• PURSUE your dreams,
• STAY focuses and dedicated, 
• WORK hard and continue to grow
• LIVE your live with purpose and passion!

In every moment, look for the magic within it. Whether big or small, every moment has something special to offer. Appreciate life and the people you get to share it with.

As I bid farewell to my twenties, I dream of great things to come. To go out there and make a difference, to achieve my goals both professionally and personally, to continue to travel and explore new things, to embrace opportunities to grow and learn.

As the sun rises on my 30th birthday tomorrow, I feel appreciative of the past, content with the now and excited for the future. With the possibilities of the next decade to be unknown, I am ready for whatever it has to offer. I sense that my thirties will bring the best that is yet to come.

The 20-zone has come to an end! Welcome to the 30's!

Life = lake?

by Angela Luna Wolf

What is life?
Could it be like a lake?
You are the lake.
You're life is the lake

The fish in the lake are the people in your life
Some are big and some are small
but they all play a role in your life somehow
Some matter more than others
The way your lake is be it beautiful or gross
is the way you live your life

It won't always be perfect and look like glass
there are many things that will create ripples
however some ripples are beautiful
not all of them are created for the wrong things

Go look at a lake
study it throughout the day
see what changes and what is the same
see how it could describe your life
watch the fish and the ducks
the geese and the leaves

the lake is something beautiful if treated correctly
if people litter in your life then you begin to feel ugly
like the insults and people talking about you are the trash and cans
they can screw up the way you live but
there is always someone who will come to clean up the mess
a person will walk in one day and fix everything
make you feel beautiful and clean and important

It won't happen the second you get trash but it will happen
you'll find your happiness one day

there will be a person to come help piece you back together and clean you

Just wait

Life is just like a Lake

Author Notes

one day i was sitting at the lake by my house and was taking pictures and i got the most perfect picture of the lake. the lighting was just right and the angle was perfect. i put it on Instagram and immediately when i was writing the caption i thought about how life is like that lake and that is where the inspiration for this came from.

Woes of making a friendship

by haifa

Woes of making a friendship
Seems too simple
Yet quite sophiscated it is
When I seek a friendship
Never hath I looked upon
The boundaries of religion , culture ,gender or anything
Then why'd anyone do so
Don't they understand how very stimulating they are in
Doing nothing but separate us
Forbids the simple joys of friendship
If only you were to take time and understand all of it
Then only would you have become
A better mother , a better father , a better human.....

Author Notes

This is poem written when I felt somewhat mad at my parents as the were telling my friends were of different religion hence don't maintain such close relationships.all on the basis of our difference of culture and religion. I feel so sad and I pity them for not understanding a person from deep within.

Fakes And Pains

by Adathorrules

We are humans
We are smiling
Are we happy?
Probably not
Why?
No one knows
we all suffer
we all live
why smile if there is nothing to be happy about?
As a cat masks the pain of its injuries when it senses predators are near we too mask our inner pains despite the fact there are no clear predators. we are not on any known food chain.
So why do we do it?
Is it pride?
Is it fear?
Is it societal pressure?
What are we hiding from?
Who are we hiding from?
Are we real?
No
Then why do we fake our true feelings?
Are we robots?
No
Then why act like them?
Be human and feel
we were given them and they are how we know we are alive.

Wild and Tame

"What should I do about the wild and the tame? The wild heart that wants to be free, and the tame heart that wants to come home. I want to be held. I don’t want you to come too close. I want you to scoop me up and bring me home at nights. I don’t want to tell you where I am. I want to keep a place among the rocks where no one can find me. I want to be with you."

Jeanette Winterson

Theories about the Universe

"I am trying to see things in perspective.

My dog wants a bite of my peanut butter

chocolate chip bagel. I know she cannot

have this, because chocolate makes dogs

very sick. My dog does not understand this.

She pouts and wraps herself around my leg

like a scarf and purrs and tries to convince me

to give her just a tiny bit. When I do not give in,

she eventually gives up and lays in the corner,

under the piano, drooping and sad. I hope the

universe has my best interest in mind like I have

my dogs. When I want something with my whole

being, and the universe withholds it from me,

I hope the universe thinks to herself: “Silly girl.

She thinks this is what she wants, but she

does not understand how it will hurt.”

"

Theories About the Universe (Blythe Baird)

Poetry ~ My journey

In recent weeks i have read different types of poems and decided to post few of those. I will give reference to the poet and/or website I got it from as it is not my own work.

Firstly, lets look at what is poetry:

• It is literary work in which the expression of feelings and ideas is given intensity by the use of distinctive style and rhythm; 
• a quality of beauty and intensity of emotion regarded as characteristic of poems.

Poetry:

• welcomes what’s inexpressible.
• doesn’t demand explanations.
• makes room for things that are difficult to understand.
• Allows me to notice things.
• Can be direct, powerful, thought provoking and beautiful
• Allows for ways to express frustrations, but also deepest dreams.
• Allows for way to express / relate stories of strength and resilience.

I have fallen in love with poetry and I hope one day i will be courageous enough to put my own story, what I experienced and what I felt, into a poem...

So the next few posts will be provoking, powerful poetry.

Message in a Bottle vs Journey through Life

"I read the synopsis of a novel called "Message in a Bottle", this book shimmers with suspense and emotional intensity - definitely a must read! I am sharing the prologue and below that my thoughts on how our journey though life can sometimes be compared to that of a bottle in the sea."

 

 

 

Prologue of the book: Message in a Bottle by Nicholas Sparks

 

The bottle was dropped overboard on a warm summer evening, a few hours before the rain began to fall.

 

Like all bottles, it was fragile and would break if dropped a few feet from the ground. But when sealed properly and sent to sea, as this one was, it became one of the most seaworthy objects known to man. It could float safely through hurricanes or tropical storms; it could bob atop the most dangerous of riptides. It was, in a way, the ideal home for the message it carried inside, a message that had been sent to fulfil a promise.

 

Like that of all bottles left to the whim of the oceans, its course was unpredictable. Winds and currents play large roles in any bottle’s direction; storms and debris may shift its course as well. Occasionally fishing net will snag a bottle and carry it a dozen miles in the opposite direction in which it was headed. The result is that two bottles dropped simultaneously into the ocean might end up a continent apart, or even on opposite sides of the globe. There is no way to predict where a bottle might travel, and that is part of its mystery.

 

Messages in bottles have been chronicled for centuries and include some of the most famous names in history.  It can contain a message that would change two people forever, two people who would otherwise never have met, and for this reason it could be called a fated message.

 

Message in a Bottle takes readers on a hunt for the truth about a man and his memories, and about both the heart-breaking fragility and enormous strength of love. For those who cherished The Notebook and readers waiting to discover the magic of Nicholas Sparks’ storytelling, this is an achingly lovely novel of happenstance, desire, and the choices that matter most.

Reference: http://nicholassparks.com/stories/message-in-a-bottle/

 

 

Journey through Life

Just like a message in a bottle being thrown at sea, LIFE takes us on different journeys. We are hit by ‘tropical storms, hurricanes, riptides’ disguised as challenges, disappointments or the loss of a loved one. As we “sail” the waves become bigger and at times you feel like a little leaf being carried by the wind BUT what is important, is that you do not give up, try a little harder each time your “boat” is hit by a storm. Stay strong and try to keep your boat steady.

 

ALWAYS REMEMBER unlike the bottle that is dependent on wind and currents to direct its course; we are the “Captains” of our “boats”… Sometimes we get so stuck in situations where we try to manoeuvre our boat to avoid it from sinking and fail to hear the little voice in our minds or that of a friend/colleague trying to reach out and help.

 

Whenever you are sailing through a “storm”, remember to stop, take a break, breathe, evaluate the situation, and decide what direction you want to go. YOU are the captain; you have the map (development plan) and details about the destination (dreams/goals) you are sailing to. Unlike the bottle, YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE, which direction you want to go.

 

As with the bottle carrying a message, you need to think about "what message am I carrying?" as I sail through life...

 

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”  - Haruki Murakami

 

LIFE is like a Rollercoaster

I recently told someone life is like a rollercoaster & the response was "..but can't mine just be like a normal ride on a swing at a merry-go-round with no ups & downs? "

 

And this led me to write this post.

 

 

As with a rollercoaster, LIFE at times become thrilling and other times it is scary. There are moments of great excitement and anticipation - like when you get on the rollercoaster and it starts moving and making its way to the first climb. There are certain times where you feel your life is going in circles, people leaving you, you are facing decisions that are hard to make, going through situations that is just so difficult to deal with, you feel like you have been there before but still struggle to come to terms on how to effectively handle it. There are so many similarities and life experiences we can relate to that of a ride on a rollercoaster. Both are wonderful adventures, both start with a big drop, both have its ups and downs.

 

Whether you take the front seat or one right at the back - you will experience the ride in some way or the other. Your experience might be completely different to that of the person sitting next to or behind you - the most important is to 'participate' in the ride.. You are on the ride (whether Life or Rollercoaster) - Be present, have fun, enjoy the ride. Just watching as it goes by is just not the same. The one minute both can be exciting and fun and the next it can have you terrified, screaming even crying that it must be over.. Both experiences is always more entertaining when shared with others, that's why relationships with people (family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances etc.) are important.

 

Embrace the idea that you are not alone on this "rollercoaster ride of life". There are others also experiencing similar situations of excitement & happiness or situations of frustration & uncertainty. Always remember tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow promises the possibility of new hope, another opportunity, better and wonderful events, exciting times, to improve the ride. Certain encounters in life can be challenging, you just need to hold on whether you are you are going up-or-down hill.

Take a moment and reflect on where you are today and what direction you are choosing for your life.

 

• Are you merely on a merry-go-round ride, repeating old mistakes?
• Are you sitting back and holding on for dear life as your ride take you on ups and downs?
• OR are you embracing the challenges of each day by choosing to evaluate and learn from them?

 

Always look for the lesson. There is always a lesson to take from each and every challenge you are going through. Use this to navigate your journey in a much more enriched and satisfying way.

Embrace your lessons and grow with your experiences. Fill your journey with the promise of a new day – a new more fulfilling direction in your life.

By searching for and learning from these lessons; life experiences become less painful and much more manageable. They may even become rich with previously hidden blessings and enrich your future!!

"My hands are up in the air, whether I am screaming or crying - I am on this ride and enjoying every curve it takes me on."

 

ALWAYS REMEMBER

THAT:

 

• You are beautiful.
• You are loved.
• You are a unique and unrepeatable creation.
• You will make it through whatever comes our way.
• You are not alone, there is always someone who loves and cares for you.
• Your presence is a gift to the world.
• Your life can be what you want it to be.
• Your current situation is not your final destination.
• Most of the answers you need are within you.
• Not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful blessing in disguise.
• The longer you carry a grudge, the heavier it gets.
• There is a tomorrow filled with new hopes.
• There are dreams waiting to be realized.
• Worrying will not change the outcome.

 

TO:

• BREATHE | LAUGH | LIVE | LEARN
• Be grateful, even when life gets difficult.
• Count your blessings, not your troubles.
• Keep smiling and be happy.
• Not to take things too seriously.
• Reach for the best that is within you.
• Slow down in life.
• Take the days just one at a time.

ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE SPECIAL & A BLESSING TO SOMEONE IN THIS WORLD!

 

 

Use your imagination

Imagination is what makes it possible for us to think outside the confines of our present perceptual reality. It enables us to consider memories of the past AND possibilities for the future, and to weigh alternatives against one another.

 

Imagination makes all our thinking about WHAT IS, WHAT HAS BEEN and also, WHAT MIGHT BE; possible. The powerful thing is, we can imagine absolutely a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g. There is no restriction! Therefore we should choose to imagine the very best for our lives.

We are capable of doing whatever we set our mind on. To imagine is something we can do instantly and in any circumstances. It takes integrity and courage to hold on to what we imagine. Imagination takes us places we’ve never been – our own dream worlds.

So when you imagine, choose to go to places that is truly meaningful, beautiful and magnificent. Use your imagination to explore ways to get to those places and to remind you of why you want to go/get there.

Imagine that

§  Anything is possible to achieve!

§  The future is yours to create in whatever way you wish!

§  You can see the great value hidden in every challenge!

Use your imagination to advance your life and your world.

 

"Imagination is everything.
It is the preview of life's coming attractions"
-Albert Einstein

Clarity. Power. Purpose. Balance. Energy.

 

• Do you sometimes feel like your life is out of control? 
• Like you’re just going through the motions and have no firm grip?
• Like your hopes and dreams have somehow become unclear/lost along the way?
• That you are spending all your energy being everything to everyone?
• Questioning what you always believed to be true?
• Thinking there must be more?

 

If you answered "YES" to any of these questions, it is time to reflect and claim back your life.

Focus on the YOU part, treat yourself like you really matter - so that you can create the life that YOU wish to have.

We are so used to putting others first. We  try to be everything to everyone and so often loose our self in the process. Deep down, you know that you deserve more. You deserve to feel confident in knowing who you are, what matters to you and what you want in life  – so that you can create a life that inspires, stimulates and energizes you.

 

Take a step back and get CLARITY what it is you want in life. What makes you happy? What gets that beautiful smile to appear on your face? What makes your heart beat faster? What makes you want to strive for more...? Try and link these with your PURPOSE in life.

 

Use your "POWER and ENERGY" to manage the uncertainties and pressures that life presents.

 

Get a BALANCE and this means to have a grip on the various elements in your life. Be calm, grounded and motivated.

 

Sometimes unexpected or unwanted things happen in life that would take the wind out of our sails but throughout these it is important that we approach it with Clarity and use a Balance to understand the Purpose and use our Power and Energy to work through it to create a life we are proud of. Don't allow your heart and mind to get pulled in many directions - do what is important to YOU!

 

Acknowledge | Examine | Set Goals | Reflect | Connect | Empower

Do you follow your own advice?

Would you think differently about your challenges if they were not your own?
 

Will your opinion and advice differ, if those challenges were being experienced by someone else?

 

Think about the biggest challenge that you are currently facing. Now imagine that you are not the person experiencing it, but instead, you are merely an observer... What advice will you give the person? To run and hide? To get depressed? OR to take positive action & deal with whatever it is that they are facing, head on?

 

Now, think back to your own challenges, are you following the advice you would have given to another person? Or is the challenge clouding your judgment and affecting your ability to take productive and sustained action to deal with it?

 

• Always remember: Challenges and difficulties DO NOT define you.
• Detach yourself from them.
• Take a step back and look at it from a third-person perspective.
• Think clearly, act decisively and keep moving forward positively.

 

Handling criticism

Have you ever found yourself on the receiving end of words spoken out of frustration, disappointment, envy or anger? That vulnerable moment when someone criticizes you.

 

What is criticism?

Criticism is the expression or disapproval of someone / something on the basis of perceived faults or mistakes.

 

Everyone has an opinion.

Everyone is prepared to tell you what you’re doing wrong.

Everyone wants to tell you how to lead your life.

Everyone is a critic, right?

 

Most of us don’t want to hear criticism. Whether it’s coming from a parent, friend, family member, or colleague. Not everyone is open and accepting to it. Criticism can be hard to take. To accept it, you can almost say it is a skill, and being able to learn from criticism requires a level of proficiency.

 

How do we react to it?

Our typical reaction is to respond in the same manner as what it is received in, and that is; with anger, defensiveness, or sarcasm.

 

Let's think of criticism as an uncomfortable way to learn more about ourselves and our impact on others.  It is feedback that we may find difficult to hear but we need it, if we are to expand our awareness of our impact on others.

 

Handling criticism

Dealing with criticism effectively & in a positive manner is an important life skill. At some point in our lives we will be criticised. Sometimes it will be difficult to accept but it all depends on our reaction.  We can either use criticism in a positive way to improve, or in a negative way that may lower our self-esteem & cause stress and anger.

 

• Listen carefully to what the other person is saying.
• Stay focussed and make sure you understand what is being said..
• Breathe - Count to 10 before responding, sleep over it, take a walk - any kind of delay is good.
• Ask for clarification if the criticism is vague or unclear. Ask for a example to make sure you fully understand what they are referring to.
• Fair or unfair - you need to decide.  Ask yourself, is there truth in what is being said? As difficult as it may be, if it's true - take ownership and ask for suggestions how they want you to handle the situation differently.
• Don't get defensive - stick to the issue at hand and don't get personal.
• Learn from the encounter and move on.

Not everyone you will interact with is going to be nice & friendly. The fact is, this is LIFE and we are climbing the corporate ladder, trying new things and aiming for greater heights and we will be exposed to criticism at one stage or another.

 

To end this post, my take on criticism is "What doesn't kill you, make you stronger." Be open to it, be accepting, learn from it and move on..

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.
Dale Carnegie –